


polished gems, lighting up her day

by flyingoverthehorizon



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Gender Dysphoria, Multi, Nail Polish, Sleepy Cuddles, Trans Female Character, Trans Woman Junmyeon, exo as girls, supportive girlfriends
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-05
Updated: 2020-05-05
Packaged: 2021-03-03 05:20:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24019657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flyingoverthehorizon/pseuds/flyingoverthehorizon
Summary: when dysphoria hits junmyeon’s girlfriends know exactly how to make her feel better
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Junmyeon | Suho/Oh Sehun
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24
Collections: CHERRYKISSES FEST (Round 1)





	polished gems, lighting up her day

**Author's Note:**

> Kiss #57 written for Cherry Kisses Fest.
> 
> i am really happy with how this came out! i hope you enjoy it too ~<3
> 
> i also hope it lives up to the expectation from the prompter!
> 
>  **!!!** please note that this fic deals with gender dysphoria! if this is triggering for you please proceed with caution. over all this fic is very fluffy but i'd rather not trigger anyone if it can be avoided. 
> 
> also, trans people are not defined by their dysphoria (or need to experience dysphoria to be trans). this is just one example of how it could take shape. i'll elaborate a little more on this in the end notes so to not give any spoilers.

It always starts with her feeling slightly off, but it’s not until the slight pressure on her chest starts that she realizes what is going on. 

Junmyeon sighs and slumps down on the sofa. She hates feeling this way. It has gotten better over the last two years since she started taking estrogen, but sometimes the horrible feeling of dysphoria comes creeping and there is very little she can do about it. 

She pulls up her legs and hugs them close to her body. With her chin resting on her knees, she looks at the time. It’s 10pm. She won’t fall asleep for at least a couple hours after this, even if she manages to do something about feeling dysphoric soon. 

She is in her pyjama pants and a silk camisole, her usual night attire, and normally she would think her boobs look cute in this. Tonight everything just feels off. She goes to put on a hoodie big as a tent. She feels like hiding.

When she walks into the bedroom, Sehun is sitting on the bed typing away at the laptop perched on one thigh with papers and books scattered all around her. Her hair is pulled up into a messy bun and she’s wearing flannel pyjama pants and a t-shirt with a disney princess print. She is in the middle of midterms, and for some reason unknown to Junmyeon, she likes to sit in their king sized bed. She says that she likes being comfortable. Junmyeon, who works from home, doesn’t understand. For one, she wouldn’t be able to focus if she was too comfortable, plus working in the bed is so un-ergonomic. Not to mention how she wouldn’t be able to sleep during deadlines if she worked and slept in the same room. 

Junmyeon works freelance, mainly as writer but does a little bit of everything. She writes roleplaying games, holds lectures, hosts nerdy events and is sometimes asked to write articles for different magazines. Her dream job is to write, or co-write, a video game. She also reads a lot of books and sometimes does reviews and recommendations. With many streams of income it all works out in the end.

It all started with having many nerdy interests that suddenly became monetizable to some extent. It took a leap of faith to go full freelance but having an emotionally supportive girlfriend really helped. That later turned into a said girlfriend also being able to be financially supportive if needed, as well as a second girlfriend, Sehun. 

The aforementioned financially stable girlfriend is currently in Junmyeon’s workroom, hammering away at Junmyeon’s computer to meet a deadline of her own. Baekhyun hates taking work home and prefers staying an hour extra in the office one or two days a week. But this deadline is big and there seems to not be enough hours in a day to finish on time, even if Baekhyun is working really hard at it. Junmyeon is worried about her. 

When Junmyeon starts rummaging around in her part of the wardrobe in search of the biggest hoodie she owns, Sehun looks up from her work. She seems to notice that Junmyeon is not feeling so good. 

“Myeonnie, is something up?”

Junmyeon pulls on the hoodie she found, turns halfway towards Sehun and shrugs. She has her arms around her torso and is slumping. Her whole posture must scream that she wants to be invisible. 

“Oh, babe, come here,” Sehun says as she declutters herself and climbs over her homework to get to Junmyeon. 

Junmyeon has always liked Sehun’s hugs. Sehun is gorgeously tall and even if Junmyeon loves admiring Sehun’s height Junmyeon herself thrives when she feels small. And Junmyeon always feels small and cradled when Sehun hugs her. But it only helps a little.

Junmyeon breathes against Sehun’s collarbone for a minute before speaking. “I don’t know why, but my body feels wrong right now.” Sehun doesn’t react to that even if Junmyeon knows that she is thinking a lot about how to interpret that, so Junmyeon continues. “I thought dysphoria was gonna disappear when I started hormones, and it has, mostly. But today I feel like crap.”

Junmyeon sighs. “My hands feel too big, my boobs too small, my body feels too square and my arms are too muscular. Everything just feels off. I don’t like my voice or my chin. I just wanna hide from the world.”

Sehun squeezes Junmyeon closer for a moment and then starts leading her out of the bedroom and towards Junmyeon’s workroom. 

Sehun has seen Junmyeon dysphoric before, but because they met after Junmyeon had gone on estrogen and only started dating seriously about a year ago, she doesn’t know Junmyeon’s dysphoria as well as Baekhyun does. Baekhyun is basically the expert. She is more an expert on what to do than even Junmyeon is. It is probably because Junmyeon gets too much in her own head to figure out what to do.

Junmyeon and Baekhyun started dating when they were both in their second year of university. That was about two years before Junmyeon was able to access hormone treatment. There was a lot of dysphoria back then but they made it through. Baekhyun made it easier. Junmyeon is so grateful for everything Baekhyun has given her, and tries her best to repay the love. She used to feel like she had a backlog of love to provide but Baekhyun reminded her that she was lovely even when bouts of dysphoria were more frequent. She just had a stronger storm to ride out. That didn’t put her in an affection debt. 

Junmyeon doesn’t really want to disturb Baekhyun when she is working so hard, but Sehun pushes the door open and Baekhyun turns her head slightly to show that she heard them come in. She finishes typing and then turns to them completely. 

She is gorgeous with her big, round, silver rimmed glasses and bangs rolled up on a curler. She sees how Junmyeon is snuggled into Sehun’s side and understands right away. 

“Hang on a second. I’ll just finish this paragraph and then I’m calling it a night. It’s not like I will get much more done tonight anyway.” She turns back to the computer, but looks back at them over her shoulder. “Will you get the nail polish?”

Sehun takes Junmyeon back to the living room and makes her sit on the sofa, before going to get their mani and pedi supplies. 

“I don’t wanna be a bother when you have exams to study for and assignments to finish,” Junmyeon says when Sehun comes back. Sehun gently pecks her on the lips before replying. “I’m saying like Baekhyunnie, I’m not gonna get much more done tonight anyway. I might as well spend it with you. And I _want_ to spend quality time with my girlfriends.” 

Baekhyun comes into the living room, pecks Sehun on the cheek as she passes her, and then sits down next to Junmyeon, hugging her. Sehun goes to put her homework away and clear up their bed so she doesn’t have to do that with two sleepy girlfriends simultaneously trying to get under the covers, disrupting whatever system Sehun had her stuff organized into on top of the covers. It has happened before, and she has since learned from her mistakes. 

Baekhyun pulls out a nail file and gently takes Junmyeon’s hand, starting to even out the nails. 

“You know you don’t have to feel guilty about this.”

Baekhyun knows her too well by now. Junmyeon doesn’t even try to protest the statement. 

“I love you, Junmyeon. So much! And I know Sehun does too. I want to spend time with you, and as much as I love my job you know I hate when it gets in the way of the rest of my life. And now it has overstepped and has to back down. Caring for my family comes first.”

Baekhyun gives Junmyeon a serious look. Junmyeon smiles in response. She knows that there is a lot of love behind that look and that Baekhyun only wants what’s best for her. 

Sehun comes back into the living room and starts digging through the bag of nail polish bottles. She picks up the base and top coats, as well as a bubble gum pink, and sits down on the rug in front of the sofa.

“I hope you’d cancel your late night work for Sehun too,” Junmyeon says quietly. “Not just for my stupid dysphoria.”

“You make it sound as if dysphoria is a slight inconvenience, Junmyeonnie,” Sehun says. “We see how uncomfortable you get, and we don’t want you to have to deal with that alone.”

“Agreed. But for the record, of course I would cancel plans for Sehun too if she needs me.” Baekhyun squints towards Junmyeon before picking up the base coat and starting to paint Junmyeon’s nails. “Your level of trust in me really drops when you get dysphoric.”

Junmyeon chuckles a little. Things feel a little easier already. A while back that comment would have made her feel really bad, but she knows that Baekhyun is only trying to lighten the mood. Baekhyun is aware that her confidence plummets when dysphoria hits, and that a lot of what Junmyeon says at those times stems from insecurity. 

Meanwhile, Sehun has already finished both a base coat and two layers of the pink color on her toenails. 

“You get the middle spot tonight, Junmyeonnie,” she states as she shakes the top coat bottle. “I want you to get all the cuddles.”

“Hand me the pink,” Baekhyun interjects. Sehun leans over to give it to her and she starts to paint all nails except the ring finger one on Junmyeon’s right hand, and only the ring finger nail on Junmyeon’s left hand. 

“How did studying go, Sehun?” Junmyeon asks, casually. She never got a chance to earlier since she was so occupied with feeling off. 

Sehun sighs and flops down on her back. “Ugh, don’t remind me. My head is mush and I don’t know how many more days of exams I can stand.”

Sehun has closed her eyes so Junmyeon looks at Baekhyun and mouths “intervention”, but Baekhyun only looks confused. Probably not a good word for lip reading Junmyeon realizes. Instead of trying to repeat it she does a shrugging motion that she hopes comes across as ‘I’ll tell you later’. 

Even if Baekhyun didn’t understand what Junmyeon tried to tell her she did pick up on something else. “You are starting to become yourself again,” she states as a smile plays on her lips. It’s true. Junmyeon is starting to feel like her normal self again. She is no longer roped up in her own head, only able to focus on things that revolve around her. 

Junmyeon hums and leans in to give Baekhyun a kiss, carefully holding her freshly painted nails out of the way. 

Sehun sits back up on the floor. “So, how did working go for you, Baekhyunnie?”

Baekhyun gets up to grab another color of nail polish. “Hmmm, I can’t really tell for now. It’s hard to say how much is left. But I really hope that I finish the draft tomorrow so I can send it to my colleagues for review.” She comes back with a baby blue. 

“Are we doing the trans flag?” Junmyeon asks with a raised eyebrow. 

“Yes,” Baekhyun replies firmly. “The colors are pretty.”

Junmyeon can’t argue with that. “Sehun, will you get us the white polish and a dotting tool?”

Sehun, who is currently putting on a top coat, hums affirmatively. 

When Baekhyun is done with the first layer of the blue polish she rubs at her eyes with the back of her hand. “I think I’ve had too much caffeine today. My head is spinning with thoughts, but my eyes are tired. I don’t get it.” 

“You’ve been staring at a screen all day,” Sehun offers as an explanation.

“When did you finish the last cup?” Junmyeon asks, wondering how hard it will be for Baekhyun to fall asleep. 

“It is still half finished on my desk.”

“Baek!” Junmyeon exclaims. “Have you not learned that drinking coffee after 8pm fucks up your sleep?!”

“I knooooow,” Baekhyun groans. “But I lost track of time and had you not needed me I would probably be sitting there still.” 

“Better late than never, I guess,” Sehun says as she sits down next to Baekhyun and cuddles her. She kisses Baekhyun’s neck and adds, “I can think of a few ways to get it out of your system faster.”

“Mmmmm… really?” Baekhyun hums. 

“Let’s finish painting my nails before we move on to sex.” Junmyeon pouts as she pokes her girlfriends’ calves. 

“Okay, princess.” Sehun disentangles from Baekhyun before retrieving the white polish and the dotting tool. “Polka dots on the accent nails?” she asks as she comes back. Junmyeon nods affirmatively. Sehun is the best out of them at nail art and she gets to do the honors, even if dots are very easy with the right tools. 

Meanwhile Baekhyun takes out a red polish and starts painting straight on her nails, not bothering with any filing or base coat. 

Soon, Junmyeon’s nails are prettily painted and sealed in with a nice top coat. Baekhyun skipped the top coat too and went to get her toothbrush while Sehun finishes up Junmyeon’s nails. 

When Baekhyun returns, toothbrush in mouth, Sehun goes to prepare the rice cooker so that they have freshly cooked rice for breakfast. Baekhyun sits down next to Junmyeon who is waiting for her nails to dry. 

“We should do something nice for Sehun to distract her from her exam week,” Junmyeon whispers. “She said she feels overwhelmed and to give her a break from the routine would probably do her good.” 

Baekhyun nods in agreement. 

“Maybe a nice dinner tomorrow night if you have the time, or the day after. We could all use more time together. Being in the same room while we are all working on separate things doesn’t really count.”

Baekhyun hums affirmatively. They walk to the bathroom together to do the rest of their night routines. Sehun comes in and brushes her teeth but disappears again after, skipping out on washing her face. Baekhyun does her extensive skin care routine, but skips out on the face mask. Junmyeon only does the bare minimum. She’s tired and cuddling her girlfriends is too tempting now. 

When Junmeyon and Baekhyun get to the bedroom Sehun is already under the covers, almost asleep. 

“What happened to sex?” Junmyeon asks, softly, when she slides into bed next to Sehun, Baekhyun getting in after her. 

“Too tired,” Sehun mumbles as she pulls Junmyeon closer. Junmyeon gently pets her hair and turns to Baekhyun.

“You think you’ll be able to fall asleep, anyway?”

“I hope so. But it’s okay, I’ll be fine.” Baekhyun leans in to peck Junmyeon on the lips. 

Junmyeon leans up to kiss Baekhyun’s neck. It’s a little hard when Sehun is holding her so tightly and she doesn’t want to disturb Sehun falling asleep.

She leans in to Baekhyun’s ear. “Let’s give Sehun a little treat tomorrow. Make her relax,” she whispers.

Baekhyun is smiling and biting her lip when Junmyeon pulls away. 

“I like that.” 

Then she wiggles into a comfortable position and says, “Come on babe, let’s sleep. We gotta start trying now if we are gonna have any chance to catch up to Sleeping Beauty over there.”

Junmyeon makes herself comfortable and lets out a soft and happy sigh. This night took an unexpected turn, but thanks to her lovely girlfriends the crisis was avoided. She is looking forward to when things get less hectic for both of her girlfriends, but at least there can be these moments of comfort in between. Even when their lives get stormy.

**Author's Note:**

> i hope it was as fluffy as i tried to make it ^^ 
> 
> just to add to the note in the beginning, as i said dysphoria can take shape in many ways and it can vary in intensity between times and between people. feeling dysphoric about something does not necessarily mean that someone will always feel bad about that. humans are complex and junmyeon in this fic only feels this uncomfortable with her body when her dysphoria hits bad. for example she usually likes her hands, especially when her nails are painted, because they are central for her to do her job. just wanted to add some context that i didn't really manage to get into the fic :)
> 
> find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/flyingothorizon)!


End file.
